I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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