Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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