it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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