The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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