When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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