i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize