Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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