haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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