two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize