Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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