so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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