Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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