Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize