What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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