You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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