I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize