just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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