He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize