You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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