Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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