she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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