i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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