Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
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I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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