i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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