I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize