So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize