he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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