Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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