This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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