oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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