Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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