Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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