I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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