grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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