Betty ford says i'm here all night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize