its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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