I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
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I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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