But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize