I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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