all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize