the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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