Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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