I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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