My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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