Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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