I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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