i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
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Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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