That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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