Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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