I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize